perhaps God (pick one) wants to see just how bad you can get before doling out a suitable measure of reward. If you're up to it, go for broke and really show 'em the depth of your convictions. What have you to lose?

You know, it's funny that even though my personal views do not allow for the existence, at some level, of a God, but I still feel a twinge of the mildest form of what one would call guilt, when I say or do something that most believers would call irreverent.

As a child, and into an early stage of adolescence, I wanted Santa to be that little piece of magic, that unbelievable something that allowed for an innocent imagination to remain just that. It was the beginning of becoming cynical, the day I finally acknowledged that my imagination was just not powerful or courageous enough to continue the dream. That cynicism has blossomed into many areas of life and made the world a lot less exciting to experience on a close personal level.

Childhood conditioning is a difficult mantle to shuck and discard absolutely.

All this only goes to show myself that I am, perhaps, a fraud when it comes to what I think as compared to what I would like to be thinking. It is still a journey that remains unfinished, for now.